Koi
by Totoromo
Summary: ByakuyaxUkitake. Yachiru uses koi and poetry to play matchmaker. The real reason for the disappearing koi! Fluff only, no smut. Yaoi. Oneshot. All poems are old Japanese poems translated to English and not mine.


Title: Koi

Fandom: Bleach

Rating: T

Description: ByakuyaxUkitake. Yachiru uses koi and poetry to play matchmaker. The real reason for the disappearing koi! Fluff only, no smut. Yaoi. Oneshot.

Disclaimer: Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love.

_A/N: All authors of the poems are listed at the end; all are old Japanese poems and haiku. This is another "wow it's 3am and I have this idea that I have to write about" fic. This is more fluffy than I usually am, and hopefully I can keep the characters fairly in character. Byakuya is noticably more warm in it, but I'd like to think that a Captain Kuchiki in love would be a more soft and squishy Captain Kuchiki than he usually presents himself as._

**Koi **

**

* * *

**

"Why thank you, Yachiru," Captain Ukitake said as he opened the present. He didn't want to open it in front of her but she had insisted, saying that she needed to "explain how it worked" to him, which had caused him to worry a little bit. Now that he saw that it was a book he was relieved, if not a little confused.

"It lists all the type of koi!" she said, opening the book and pointing to a giant glossy picture. "See, that one's a Tancho because he has a big red spot on his head."

"What are these markings?" Jushiro asked, noting the small numbers inked in on each page.

"Oh, that's for this!" she said, holding out a journal. "I'd give it to you but I don't trust you to not cheat!"

"Oh well, I'm not much of a cheater," a slightly confused Jushiro said.

"When you spot a new koi, you look up its name, get its number, and then come to me with the number and we'll look at the number in journal!"

"Well, sure," Jushiro replied. He was fond of games after all, even if he couldn't really see the point of this one it seemed to make Yachiru happy to know that he'd be playing along.

"I don't suppose…you have anymore candy?" she asked slyly.

"Maybe just a bit," he said, reaching into his pockets and pulling out a bag of wrapped taffy,

"Yay! Taffy gets stuck in my teeth!" Yachiru said happily.

* * *

"Oh my, where did you come from?" Jushiro asked the big koi that was now making his way lazily through his pond. Jushiro stared at him for awhile from his wooden bridge. "Hm…wasn't there something I was supposed to do…"

It wasn't until Yachiru came over that he remembered. "Oh, the book!" he said.

"You got a new koi?" Yachiru asked excitedly.

"Well, I guess so," Jushiro said. "He's obviously too old to have just been born but I didn't buy any more…"

"What kind?" Yachiru said, pulling out the book from the end table it was sitting on.

"Well, he's black and gold, but he's sparkly all over," Jushiro described.

"Well, the sparkly part is more important than the color part because it's rarer," Yachiru said.

"Wow, you know a lot about koi for some reason," he laughed.

"Ok, so a sparkly one like that with a lot of sparkles is a Kinginrin, or Ginrin," she pointed to the page with the fish. "Like this?" she asked.

"Yes, that's what he looks like," Jushiro admitted.

"So…number 5," Yachiru noted, looking at the written number. She pulled out her notebook and went to page five. "Treasure hunt time!"

"Treasure hunt?"

"Northwest of pond, no more than twenty steps, lovely flowers at my feet…" she read.

"Well, I suppose we should take a look," Jushiro said. Although he knew his garden very well and knew exactly what tree they were heading for, he let Yachiru count off the steps and look around before they settled on the right one. "So, what now?" he asked.

"There!" she pointed up to a branch.

"When did that get there?" Jushiro wondered, pulling down the scroll that was tied to the branch.

"What is it?"

"A poem," he said.

"_Though I go to you  
ceaselessly along dream paths,  
the sum of those trysts  
is less than a single glimpse  
granted in the waking world."_

"How beautiful," Jushiro said after reading the passage to himself and then aloud for Yachiru. "I wonder who left this?"

"Maybe another koi will show us!" Yachiru said happily.

Jushiro looked over at Yachiru. I wonder what she is up to, he thought.

* * *

"Master," one of his servants said, coming to him.

"Yes?"

"Um, well…there's been another…surprise appearance," he said.

"What? Oh, another koi?" Jushiro asked. The man in front of him nodded.

Yes, definitely a new one, Jushiro thought as he watched the fish swim around happily. I would have noticed one that was cream colored like that, especially a metallic one. I suppose I should visit Yachiru.

Yachiru was happy to oblige him when he ran into her several days later, opening her journal. "Did you get the number on the page?" she asked him.

"Yes, he's an Ogon, and the number written was #2," Jushiro told her.

"Rain slips down me but I do not get wet, hidden under the eaves," she read the clue.

"Got it," he said.

That evening when he got back from his squad he poked around under the gutters around his roof. "Ah, there is it," he said, finding a scroll, wrapped in silk.

"_In the dusk the path  
You used to come to me  
Is overgrown and indistinguishable,  
Except for the spider webs  
That hang across it  
Like threads of sorrow."_

"Well, that's just sad," Jushiro frowned at the parchment. He carefully put into his pocket and brought it inside, reading it again before eventually laying it in his dresser next to the first one.

Someone is obviously trying to send me a message, he thought, but who and why? The first one was beautiful, someone dreaming of me. The second was sad, someone I no longer see? Someone I do see but am no longer close to?

He sighed and got his evening tea, looking out over his pond as he thought about it.

* * *

"Why, you're just a tiny fellow but I'm very sure you're not a baby," Jushiro said as he saw the smaller fish swim around the moss covered rocks of the shallows.

"Are you talking to your fish?" Shunsui asked him.

"Er, well, I suppose," Jushiro laughed. "He's an Asagi," he stated.

"I didn't think you cared about your fish so much to know all the types," Shunsui said with a smile.

"Oh well, I didn't used to know them, but Yachiru got me a book and I've been spending a lot of time looking through it recently," Jushiro didn't mention that it was because he was looking for some sort of clue about who was sending him messages. Obviously Yachiru had to be in on it, but then again she could just be helping and no know who was actually behind it. He knew he could just ask her, but like she said, that would be cheating. In truth it had been a boring summer for him. He hadn't been sick enough to have to go to Squad 4 or be in bed all day, but he hadn't felt well enough to do too much either. The days dragged on, and he was always happy when he could sink into bed and his dreams and not have to worry about things anymore.

This time he sought out Yachiru to get the clue from her journal.

"How many journal pages are there?" he asked, noticing that several of the journal pages had multiple numbers written on them.

"Can't tell you, it would be…"

"…cheating…ok," Jushiro sighed. "What does it say?"

"Wild tea," Yachiru looked at the clue. "Does that mean anything to you? It's awfully short."

"I know exactly where to go, thank you for your help," Jushiro said, getting up and walking away with a purpose.

"What the hell are you up to?" a deep voice asked from behind her.

"It's a game!" Yachiru said. "I'm playing matchmaker! Rangiku says it's the best game there is!"

"Fine, just don't get into any trouble," Kenpachi replied.

* * *

It was actually a bit of a walk. It wasn't a hard hike, just longer than Jushiro remembered. Well, I'm not usually in hurry, Jushiro joked to himself about his anxiousness. Just for a silly poem too, he thought. Still…

At the top of the rocky crag he found it, a small patch of plants that he used regularly for his tea mix. He had long ago taken up the habit of drying his own leaves after Yamamoto had showed him how easy it was. Jushiro liked unusually sweet teas so it was easier for him to just make his own blends, one for each season, changing the flavors to incorporate different seasonal favorite tastes of his. For summer he preferred orange and cinnamon accents, even though most liked that as a fall taste.

He didn't have to look long. This time there was a small wooden box. He opened it carefully and pulled out the rolled up paper inside of it. For a second he just looked at the writing itself, so beautifully done, clearly down by a master calligrapher who took their time over their letters.

"_Not speaking of the way,  
Not thinking of what comes after,  
Not questioning name or fame,  
Here, loving love,  
You and I look at each other." _

Inside the box was a single cherry blossom. Jushiro picked it up and smelled its gentle fragrance. His eyes widened. "You and I look at each other?" he repeated the last line of the poem while looking at the blossom. "It…couldn't be…"

* * *

After the captain's meeting he made his way to Captain Kuchiki before he could rush out. Well, not rush exactly, since the young noble would never do anything in a hurry, but he never stuck around to idly chat like some of the other captains did.

"Captain Kuchiki," Jushiro said, with a nod and slight bow.

Byakuya looked at him and frowned. "I…" he began. He paused but started again. "Sensei, there has never been a need for you to address me so formally," he said.

"What?" Jushiro was shocked, but as if aware that he had said something unusual Byakuya merely nodded and left without another word.

"Interesting," Shunsui said from his right. "I didn't know he still considered you his sensei."

"I didn't either," Jushiro said with a light laugh. "He's probably just trying to be nice to an old man."

"Oh yes, those Kuchikis are known for their laid back attitude, always trying to make people feel at home," Shunsui replied with a roll of his eyes.

* * *

It was different, but was it friendly? Jushiro debated in his mind. He and Byakuya used to talk a lot, but that was before Byakuya had become head of his clan, before he had gotten married, and before he had become captain. They still would chat, but only very briefly since Jushiro always got the impression that Byakuya wanted to be someplace else. He hated making people feel uncomfortable so he had never brought it up and had merely allowed their relationship to cool.

Is he truly the one writing these letters? No, these love poems? But if so, why? Are they really for me? Perhaps they are from his hand but directed at someone else?

Or perhaps it's not him writing them at all. I thought of him because of the blossom, but lots of people love cherry blossoms. Shunsui certainly does, and my mind didn't jump to him. Jushiro laughed inwardly at the idea of his old friend harboring secret feelings towards him; although, he would certainly use this type of method to woo a woman. Well, maybe not quite so drawn out as it's been, not months of it. Shunsui would want to be this romantic, but he couldn't do it, Jushiro thought to himself. He was a man who needed immediate gratification.

Of course, it could be someone from his squad, someone with access to his property who knew him well enough to know where he got his tea plants.

Jushiro sighed and decided to take a hot bath and a long nap.

* * *

He seemed so shocked to hear that I want him to call me by name, like he used to, Byakuya thought to himself. Have I really become so distant that such a small thing would cause such surprise to come across his face? He and I used to stay up all night reading to each other in the light of the fireplace. I still remember the guest room I would sleep in if it started raining during training when he didn't want me to have to make it all the way home in the wetness. He was always so worried about my health, which always amused me. To have him fuss over me and my health seemed so opposite of what should be happening, but I was always so scared to tell him to take it easy because I never wanted him to think that I thought him weak. All I could do was watch when he coughed and feel that terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'd resist rushing to his side because I knew that it would hurt his pride to have his student prop him up and aid him.

I even remember the smell of his home, the taste of his homemade teas, the clink of my wooden training sword on his, the feeling of energy as I first tried to master kido, the splash of the koi in his garden as we sat and played Shoji.

Byakuya looked out on his own koi pond, one that he had remodeled to be like Jushiro's. It always gave him a sense of peace to be out there. He liked lighting the paper lanterns around the edge himself, not liking to use the kido based lights which seemed too glaring and bright to him.

I wonder why I keep losing koi? He wondered. If they were dying, someone would tell me, or I would have noticed them being sick.

"Bya!" Yachiru called out.

Byakuya sighed. At least she had announced herself this time, as opposed to slipping up on him, something he didn't want to admit was possible but the girl had the sneak capacities to rival anyone on the stealth force when she wanted to.

"The kitchen staff made some sweet buns if you want them," Byakuya offered, hoping that would mean she would leave him in peace.

"Ukitake is sick," Yachiru said, not even bothering with a nickname.

Byakuya stiffened hearing that. "Is he at Squad 4?"

"No. He's just starting to get sick, but I think it will be really bad. He's been sick for months but hasn't told anyone," she said. "You said there was sweet buns?" she asked, switching subjects. Byakuya merely nodded, lost in his own thoughts.

Just like always, Jushiro. You push yourself too hard. We all know that you are not infirm, that you are powerful and strong, and wise and good, but you need to know your own limits sometimes.

He pondered talking to Jushiro, or at least checking in on him.

* * *

Jushiro had found a beautiful black and white koi that almost reminded him of a zebra that evening. He supposed he should wait until Yachiru came by to ask her…that was when he noticed that she had left the journal on his end table, atop the koi picture book. He avoided temptation to flip through every page, but instead turned to the marked one and read the clue. This one…I think this one is at Shunsui's, he thought as he read the clue again. I guess I'll make a quick trip, it's not that late.

He decided to not bother Shunsui, assuming he was even home. Of course he could be home but, well, entertaining. Regardless, Jushiro didn't wish to intrude so he simply slipped into the back yard to the rock garden, looking under the small monument there to find a rolled parchment piece, bound with satin ribbon.

"_I have always known  
That at last I would  
Take this road, but yesterday  
I did not know that it would be today."_

Jushiro mulled over the poem but couldn't quite make sense of it. Unless…unless…Jushiro headed back to his estate quickly.

* * *

It's just as peaceful as I remember, Byakuya said as he waited in Jushiro's garden, watching the koi swim. Although it was night the moon was full and the sky clear of clouds.

Jushiro's servants had said he had run out quickly but that they expected him back soon. Byakuya sat down at the bottom of a tree he remembered well. I'm pretty sure this is the tree that knocked me out for the very first time, he thought with a chuckle. Yes, even though I was blocking, his hit was so forceful that I fell backwards and hit my head on this tree hard enough for me to lose consciousness. The look of worry on his face when I came to was so…precious to me. I remember being flustered by his closeness, by his hand on my head as he made sure I was alright. Byakuya closed his eyes to remember those times, times when he didn't have as many worries, times when he had less painful memories, times when he could be frustrated or happy and just exist without a thousand eyes on him.

* * *

Jushiro gasped softly as he saw Byakuya sleeping under the tree, his proud form perfectly outlined in the white moonlight.

He's here. He's waiting for me.

He walked towards Byakuya as if he were a dream, scared that he would wake up and find himself dozing in his bathtub.

Byakuya, when you are asleep the worries fall from your face. You hold yourself with grace at all times, but it is so forced. Like this you are truly beautiful. I feel like I could just go up and touch you when you are like this, like I could touch you and you wouldn't pull away. I still remember trying to comfort you when your wife died, trying to take you into my arms like I used to, and feeling you stiffen. I've never felt anything so painful. Watching you change was so hard, but I felt it for the best. You needed your armor; it's such a painful world, especially for someone as secretly sensitive as you are. You needed your fake heavy skin and unblinking eyes and cool tone to get through the many obstacles that every person who sees you put you through. Having to live for so many people, having to live up to so many ideals…I've always been happy that I was born to a lower station of nobility. I was always happy that I got to see you the way you truly were. Or are? Are you still like that under all of this weight Byakuya?

"Byakuya?" Jushiro said out loud this time, placing his hand on Byakuya's shoulder.

"Yes, some tea would be nice," Byakuya answered from his sleep.

Jushiro laughed, and Byakuya woke up fully. "Well, you certainly can have tea but maybe we should go inside first," Jushiro said.

"What?"

"You asked me for tea in your sleep, so I imagine you must really want it," Jushiro said. "I won't take no for an answer."

"I came by to talk to you anyways," Byakuya said.

Jushiro could feel excitement run through him. Was it true then? Little Byakuya had been harboring feelings for him the whole time? But then why wait so long?

"Is your life so painful that you've been running from me?" Jushiro said without thinking.

Byakuya looked up at him quickly. "I…" he found himself at a complete loss. For one he wasn't completely sure he had even woken up. Jushiro's hair glowed in the light from the moon, lighting up his whole face, making it seem soft and warm. Yes, a dream, Byakuya felt. One I've had many times before. He reached up and ran his hand through Jushiro's loose hair. "You look like you haven't had enough sleep, Jushiro," he said familiarly. "Please let me take care of you."

"I think that's supposed to be my line," Jushiro said. "You are so distant and cold all the time, I'm sure that warmth is still there. Let me help you."

Byakuya blushed as he realized that he really was awake and that he had just run his fingers through his sensei's hair.

Seeing the delightful blush spread across Byakuya's cheek made Jushiro feel light headed.

They sat inside drinking tea, talking for hours. It was as if whatever had come between them had disappeared, just like the night was disappearing around them. As the sun began to rise, they realized how late it truly had become, how they had talked themselves into a new day.

"Come, let's watch the sunrise," Jushiro suggested.

"Yes," Byakuya agreed.

So they stood on the small wooden bridge that went over the narrow part of Jushiro's koi pond, watching the sun rise. A sudden chilled wind blew and Jushiro shuddered. Byakuya wrapped his arms around him without thinking. He was taken aback by his actions but Jushiro simply said, "Thank you, Byakuya, your arms are very warm."

Byakuya felt a familiar but long forgotten emotion rising in his chest as he watched the sun creep upwards with his arms around his former sensei. He knew that the heat he was feeling wasn't from the new sun, but from the man in his arms. The man he had been pushing away for decades and decades.

"I'm sorry," he said, placing his forehead onto the back of Jushiro's shoulder, almost as if hiding.

"I'm sorry too," Jushiro said quietly. After a pause he continued, "I don't know if you know this, but Yachiru's been hiding bits of your poetry around my garden and the places I walk."

"What?" Byakuya was glad Jushiro was facing forward so he didn't see the look of mortification that went across his features.

"They really are quite beautiful, if not a little sad," Jushiro said.

Byakuya didn't answer.

Jushiro began to speak:

"_We are, you and me,  
Like two pine needles  
Which will dry and fall  
But never separate."_

"Beautiful," Byakuya said. "Who wrote it?"

"No one knows," Jushiro said. "It was just written on some dusty piece of parchment tucked in with a collection of poems."

"I like it," Byakuya said.

Jushiro turned around. "I will let you take care of me if you let me take care of you," he said quietly.

Byakuya heard his words, but more than that he saw the look on Jushiro's face; a look of adoration. It destroyed whatever little willpower Byakuya had, the remaining ruins of wall he had built up over one hundred years collapsed. He pulled Jushiro towards him and gently tipped his chin upward, kissing him tenderly on the lips like he had imagined one thousand times before.

He smiled. "You taste like tea, sensei," he teased.

"Mmm," Jushiro replied, pulling Byakuya back toward him for another kiss.

* * *

_A couple of weeks later_

Jushiro woke up and yawned. He smiled and sunk back into Byakuya, who was spooning him from behind. He felt Byakuya begin to stir and wake as well.

"You know," Byakuya said after a couple of minutes, "it occurs to me that you have too many koi."

"Well, there's just those five on my lower back but…"

"I meant in your pond," Byakuya said with a smile, his hands automatically straying to the tattoo on Jushiro's lower right side, a traditional design of five golden koi for prosperity and good health.

"Oh yes, Yachiru nicks them from yours and sticks them in mine for some reason. I was never sure how to bring it up to you," Jushiro said. "Of course, I wasn't positive it was her until I started getting the notes as well."

"Yes, remind me to get her a very nice birthday present."

"I thought you were mad at her for prying," Jushiro teased.

"Very mad," Byakuya said, laying a kiss along Jushiro's upper back, and then another at the back of his neck. His hands traced Jushiro's graceful sides, going along the hips and upper thigh. "Although, she didn't get all of them."

"All of what? The koi."

"The poems."

"Tell me another," Jushiro asked.

"I wrote a new one just last week,

_Loving you, my heart may shatter into a thousand pieces,  
but not one piece will be lost."_

_

* * *

_

First poem: No. 658 in the Kokin Wakashu, by Ono no Komachi

Second poem: Izumi Shikibu (from the 11th century)

Third poem: Yosano Akiko

Fourth poem: Narihira (from the 9th century)

Fifth poem: Anonymous

Sixth Poem: Lady Izumi (b. 976)


End file.
